Winter Solstice Eve 2025: The Circle of Life
I’ve had occasion to stay with a friend the last few months. In the spring when I stepped out of my room, the sun lit the hallway end to end. Through summer it was there every morning accompanying me as I started my day. I noticed how gradually after the fall equinox that beam of light began to narrow, falter and gradually fade.
Since mid-November mornings have been dark, pitch black. I have to turn on the hall switch to find my way to the front door. But I have had the experience too now some mornings of walking out the front door of the building to see the sun rise (my friend lives on the river valley). And I can’t help but watch for a moment before going on with my day. It never fails to take my breath away.
My mom died this fall. As a family we got to vigil with her in her last week and took turns staying the night. The first night I stayed she was restless and neither of us got much sleep. The sun wasn’t up yet but the first signs were there. It was morning. The room started to fill with light. She was still conscious but couldn’t speak much. Suddenly she pointed at the blinds. She kept pointing Up up! So I rolled them up and there was the sky, clear of clouds, red from rim to rim. She smiled. I babbled a bit. We both sat watching the sky, alive like a cinematic afterglow. It was one of the last conscious moments we had together.
Later, going through her personal papers, I found a photo she had taken of the sun rising over our old farm yard and an account she had written about leaving the farm in 1983:
In my heart I’m still a country person. To see the sunrise early in the morning, cows waiting to be milked and a greening shining crop in the fields!
I think she was watching the sun rise all her life. The sun is there every day. Our lives pretty well revolve around it. Perhaps with climate change that awareness is starting to come home to us. But I know I don’t think about it enough or how much our world is shaped by it.
I am glad to pause on this winter solstice to give thanks for the circle of life.
16 Comments
Naomi McIlwraith
December 20, 2025Dear, Audrey.
Thank you for sharing this thoughtful beautiful meditation about your Mom, her live for the sunrise, and your own gratitude for the sun’s role in the circle of life.
Naomi
Audrey
December 21, 2025You’re welcome, Naomi.
Anita Jenkins
December 21, 2025I guess some people have to live in the country 🙂 Just glad it is not me.
Audrey
December 21, 2025Always good to hear your wry take on things, Anita 🙂 Thank you.
Faith
December 21, 2025I was moved by your story about seeing the sunrise. Our apartment faces southwest so even with the sun so far south this time of year, we can’t see the sunrise. During Covid I always went grocery shopping very early so as not to meet many people. I always arrived at the store in the dark, but a couple of times I emerged from shopping just as the sun was rising. Both times I ran back in the store to summon the security guard to watch. He tried to be polite but I think he thought me totally crazy.
Your mother’s words about loving the farm bring me to tears (not sure why).
Thank you for celebrating the return of the sun.
Audrey
December 21, 2025That story of my mom on the farm brought tears to my eyes too. Our view onto the world is so shaped by our environment, isn’t it? Thank you for sharing this story, Faith. Glad you were looking!
Mary leah
December 21, 2025Thank you! I love the sun too
Audrey
December 21, 2025Thank you, Mary Leah!
Kate
December 21, 2025I made a point of watching the sunrise a few times this summer. Now that I wouldn’t have to be up as early, I miss it. I am looking very forward to more light in the day. Audrey, after reading your post, I will take the time to watch the sun rise. And I will think of that lovely scene of the two of you sharing the cinematic afterglow. Thank you.
Audrey
December 21, 2025You’re welcome! When sunrise is early I don’t see it. My mom was an early riser all her life. I wonder if that is one of the secret attractions…
Carolyn
December 22, 2025Lovely, Audrey. Thank you.
Audrey
December 22, 2025Thank you for reading!
Linda
December 26, 2025I enjoyed your message about sunlight. I bought my condo for the windows and the exposure to sunlight. Even in deepest winter glinting sunlight lifts my spirits. How wonderful that your mother was surrounded by family when she passed and that you were there to experience the sunrise with her.
All the best in the New Year!
Audrey
December 26, 2025Thank you for sharing that, Linda.
Henny Flinterman Vroege
December 30, 2025Dear Audrey. My heartfelt condolences, friend. How precious were those last moments you had with your Mom.
I have a limited view out of our two windows here, but yesterday’s brilliant sunrise peeked through and reminded me of the brilliant sunrises in Edmonton – I would stand in front of the window until the brilliance faded. Sending love.
Audrey
December 31, 2025Thank you, Henny. Brilliance is a good word for light at the beginning and end of one’s day and life. Happy New Year!