Category: Uncategorized

  • Fall Equinox 2014: Gathering the Harvest

    The harvest doesn’t always come in on time or the way we have planned it. The crop may not be a bumper or the prices may be down. The grain heads may have dried out early with the heat or were hailed out or eaten by grasshoppers. Some years, the harvest may not come in at all.

    People from Saskatchewan are famous for calling their land Next Year Country. You could say it’s the farmers’ motto. There’s a farm near Craik, halfway between Saskatoon and Regina, that has for decades, had this written across the roof of the barn: Riskan Hope. I was in Saskatchewan this summer on a writing retreat and, of course, saw the sign again from the side of the highway.

    Lately, I’ve been thinking about my writing in harvest images. But it might be a hundred things: goals, aspirations, ambitions dreamed of. This fall, I had the chance of some further feedback on a project I’ve been working on since 2010. I thought it might be ready for publishers, but learned, no, not yet.

    After the initial let down, what started to come to me were images of walking alongside a combine. Growing up on a farm, one of the chores was to take lunch or supper out to the field for the combiners. It might be my dad or one of my brothers harvesting. But even without a reason, I used to love to spend part of an autumn evening, moon and mists rising, in among the swaths, the fields golden with fall. Circle back to present time, and in my mind’s eye, I am walking alongside a combine and throwing not oats or barley but ideas into the hopper, knowing that they are collecting and moving me and my story towards completion. In these images of myself alongside the combine, I see chaff flying out the back of the machine, and I keep walking. Somehow I know that it’s as I move forward that I will gain insights and that continuing to move is part of the secret.

    Without risk we cannot hope and without hope we cannot risk. Without riskan hope, there is no harvest.

    Blessed Be.

  • Being. Sick.

    There is a giant chalkboard in our neighbourhood at the corner of 95 Street and 103A Avenue, right over a community garden that stands on what once was the House of Refuge Mission, which burned down about a year ago in a series of fires. The place used to minister to the homeless and still does. At the top of the chalkboard are the words, Before I Die. And under them, looking over the sunflowers in that place, the people of Boyle Street have written and rewritten what they want: To see the Chicago Bears play. To punch the lights out of $*#%@#! [name withheld]. To be myself. To live! are just a few of the sentiments I’ve witnessed there on my comings and goings in and out of the neighbourhood all summer long.

    I came down with a violent chest cold on Sunday and have had to spend the last two days at home, in bed, not really being able to stir until now.  I haven’t been this sick in years. It’s surreal, not following my routine as usual, not getting up, going out, going to work. Being still. Like stepping away from my world/the world for a moment and living without expectation. Being. Sick. And living with questions, I’m not sure I know the answers to.

    Illness puts me in mind of all my frailties: physical, emotional, spiritual or otherwise. Life is full of small and large disappointments, setbacks, and discouragements. Challenges that leave us wondering: Can I do this? Can I overcome this? Is this really what I want to be doing with my life?

    As I get myself ready to go back to the “real” world of work tomorrow, it seems to me that we all need a chalkboard beacon somewhere in our lives–silly, honest and wise–calling us back to the vision of what we’re meant to be here. I know I do.